The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

The weekend before last, we finally got around to taking the kids to the top of the Washington Monument. Ben had been talking about it since our first failed attempt, when I committed Parental Sin #1 (that being "making uninformed promises") by telling him could go before learning that you need to get tickets in advance, and they're usually all gone before lunchtime.

Fortunately, by December most of the tourists have their sights on far warmer climes than Washington, DC. It's amazing how quickly I came to view this as "my" city, where tourists are invaders rather than fellow visitors. Ben has yet to make that transition, however; when a park ranger asked where we were from, Ben said Michigan, not Virginia. Which prompted us to hurriedly explain that we're originally from Michigan, but now we live in Arlington. God forbid we be labelled tourists.

The 500-foot elevator ride to the top of the Monument is surprisingly fast. I swear the elevator at my prior workplace took longer to climb four stories, and all you got at the end was a view of the hospital helipad and a funeral home, so you could watch unlucky patients take their last flight and possibly their last drive, all from my office window. According to the guide (Elevator Ranger?), the Monument is the tallest free-standing stone building in the world with no structural steel. Which makes you wonder what holds up the elevator, and whether it's stopped Flintstone-style with your feet, or lowered gently by an underground dinosaur.

Anyway, the view from the top is pretty impressive, even through thick, narrow windows:



Here's the view to the west, including the Lincoln Memorial and World War II Memorial:



That bridge in the upper right corner? We drive that godforsaken thing every day.

This past weekend, I spent some time working on the car, hoping to rectify my failed emissions test. You see, the State of Michigan, being invested in its primary local industry, is far more interested in keeping its products on the road than keeping the air clean. Pollution in western Michigan is always blamed on Chicago, but where does the pollution from Detroit go? Lake Erie? Who gives a crap about Lake Erie?

Passing the emissions test has proven a greater challenge than I predicted. Not only is my car about ten years old, but without any requirement to keep it in prime running condition, I followed the path of least resistance (read: lowest cost) and let a few things slide. Like driving for about a year with my Check Engine light glowing. You know - the idiot light? Yeah, something like that. Now my tags are close to expiring, and the emissions gods have yet to answer my prayers. My advice for drivers subject to emissions testing? Test early.

Tomorrow we drive back to Michigan for the holidays. If the Thanksgiving traffic was any indication of what to expect, we'll spend two hours or more just getting out of the metro DC area. We might just reach the end of Toy Story before we leave the beltway.

Oh, and Santa? If by some miracle I'm not on your Bad list yet, I might need a new catalytic converter. Just leave it beside the bushes outside the garage.