Kindergarten at last

It's hard to believe that Ben has been in kindergarten for a month already. Of course, considering the pace at which school events have unfolded, it's no wonder. The first week alone, there was the first PTA meeting, a back-to-school picnic, and so many forms and volunteer opportunities (read: parental conscription notices) that suddenly all those refrigerator calendars I never bought started calling to me.

Ben hopped on the bus on Day 1 and never looked back. I don't mean that just figuratively - I have proof:


Of course, since Ben was already reading books for recreation, he had little to fear about the rigors of academia. That's not to say he hasn't learned anything, though. One evening during his second week I heard him call Ian an "idiot" during an argument, so his vocabulary is clearly expanding. Now that he has friends with older siblings, I imagine he'll learn much he simply hasn't been exposed to. I know my brother learned a lot years earlier than I, thanks to my lack of discretion. If you see a warning label on something, that means it's cool. Trust me.

Speaking of discretion, I also stepped into a new role that first week of school: that of an "adult." I don't mean the kind of adult who can vote, buy booze, and go to jail for real if one screws up, but the kind of adult who is feared by children. In other words, a true authority figure. At the back-to-school picnic I was picking up garbage behind the fence when one of a group of kids back there doing god-knows-what with all the hula hoops saw me and yelled "ADULT!" to his comrades, who promptly scattered. I might have interfered with whatever mischief they were up to had I not been momentarily blinded by power.

Kindergarten has given Ben a new sense of authority, too. He used to preface half of what he said with "You know what?" Not that he was ever asking a question, but his tone was generally inquisitive. Now he adds "you know" to the end of everything that comes out of his mouth, as if to say, This is in no way a question. I am making a statement of fact that is undeniable. I am in kindergarten, so I know. Actually it's more of a "yuh know," with an accent somewhere between Long Island and northern Minnesota. Which would put him right in the middle of Michigan, I guess. Huh.

I'm also discovering how true it is that parents make most of their friends through their kids once they start school. I've met more people in our neighborhood since he started kindergarten than I met in the entire year after we moved here. Everywhere we go, we're crossing paths with someone in Ben's class, or at least a fellow kindergartner at the same school. And Ben is either Mr. Popular or Mr. Forgetful, because everyone calls his name, but he never seems to know theirs. He puts up a good show, though, waving and treating everyone like a close friend while I exchange salutations with the parent, hearing and immediately forgetting the name. So I can do just what Ben is doing the next time we meet.

Poor Ian was none too pleased to return to his same old preschool after all the hullabaloo of Ben starting kindergarten. He wanted to go to a new school, too. Sorry kid, but you're not rich/dumb/poor enough for anything new. That's mostly good news. The best Ian got was a bump up to the next class level, which just so happens to be the one his brother just left, so all the teachers keep calling him Ben. Hardly a rarefied experience.

Don't worry, Ian. In a couple of years you'll be the one teaching your classmates all the cool stuff.